Random sayings

Some people say they think of me as the guy with all the ‘funny sayings’. I have often been told I should write them down. Problem is when trying to come up with them, they don’t come. They have to be done on the fly. However, here is a beginning to the list. As I think of more, I just might add them.

‘Never eat anything larger than your head.’ (it’s actually a good rule)
‘Keep backing up until you smell “poo” or hear breaking glass.’ (nice imagery)
‘That is dumber than a mud fence!’ (just how dumb is a mud fence)
‘Atta boy, girl!’ (said to a boy)
‘We were packed in tighter than a turtle’s wallet.’ (now that is tight)
‘It’s better than a sharp stick in the eye.’ (lots of things are)
‘Two words . . . .that ain’t right.’ (pay attention – its actually three words)
‘God gave you a head for a reason. He wanted you to use it.’ (good advice)
‘That is slicker than cat snot.’ (Just how slick is cat snot anyways?)
‘I am finer than frogs’ hair.’ (in response to being asked how you are – but do frogs really have hair?)

So what are your favorite sayings or phrases?