Never normal

My inability to have a ‘normal’ travel experience was once again confirmed. I was returning from another city on a 6:30 am flight on Monday morning. I am supposed to be at the airport one hour early for this. I had made arrangements with one of my colleagues for transport to the airport early Monday morning, departing my accommodation no later than 5 am.

By 5:10 the vehicle had not come yet, so my host and I began trying to call various people to see what was happening. After about 3 dozen phone calls and waking up several friends from their peaceful sleep, I was assured a vehicle was on its way. I was calm, cool and collected on the outside, having resigned myself to spending the better part of the day waiting for the next available flight. On the inside I was already beginning to imagine the kinds of hassles and boredom I would need to endure this day.

At 6:05 am I left my friend’s house to make the normally 45 minute drive to the airport. No way am I going to make my flight, since they are not supposed to check anyone in after 30 minutes prior to departure time. The driver did not so much drive as he did some low altitude flying on the way. If cows wore underwear, there would be some who would need to change themselves following our high-speed near-miss incidents with them along the way.

At 6:27 I came speeding up to the airport entrance and jumped out and ran inside to the check in counter. For those of you who know me the image of me running is one that brings a mix of humor (like watching camels run) and sheer terror (the fact that something that big is moving that fast is a scary thing). This was reflected on the faces of some of the security guards and people in the airport as well.

The Supervisor on duty for the airlines somehow made an exception and in record time had a boarding pass in my hand and was pointing me towards the security door I had to go through. I was whisked through security and headed to the bus that was to bring me to the airplane. All the buses had gone. They had to now call another bus to bring me to the plane. I got a ‘private’ bus ride out to the plane, all by myself.

I boarded the plane and sat down, now thoroughly sweating as those of you who know me know it is easy for me to do. I had not been seated for 20 seconds when the guy next to me proceeds to ‘accidentally’ squeeze the contents of his strawberry yoghurt juice box all over my leg.

As the plane took to the air I breathed a sigh of relief, and reaffirmed to myself it does truly seem impossible for me to have a ‘normal’ travel experience. Or maybe this is my normal.