Waiting on others

I have learned a lot about myself over the years. One of the things I have known for some time is that I absolutely HATE being late for something. A second thing I have known for a long time is that one of the most frustrating things for me is when someone does something that makes no apparent sense to me. If I could understand how that action may have made some sense or been logical to that person, I can be a lot more tolerant or understanding, but not knowing what in the world they were thinking is totally frustrating to me.

I am also learning that I really don’t like having to wait on others to make a decision before I can make a decision. I am in the midst of planning a nearly month long trip to the US and in the process have to juggle a series of meetings, appointments and schedules, all of which is dependent on decisions being made by others. That means until others make a decision I can not finalize my plans. I like to plan things well in advance when it comes to travel. Others are more than happy to wait until the last minute and ‘see how things work out’.

I leave in 6 days and only know my schedule for the first and last week of my nearly month long trip for sure. The rest is still up in the air. No airline tickets, no hotels or rental cars booked, etc. This has made for some frustrating days, checking my email to see if someone finally got back to me with details. Argh!!

I suppose I need to take comfort knowing that it will in fact all work out just fine. It might cost me more than I want to due to doing things very last minute, but it will all work out.

Daddy Day Care

For the last roughly 10 days my wife has been out of the country on a business trip. She gets back in another day and a half. This is not the first time I have been left in charge of Daddy Day Care with our two kids, ages 3 and 5, and it likely won’t be the last.

While there is always a certain amount of trepidation about being left alone with both kids for more than just a couple of days, I am continually amazed at the variety of reactions I get from people when they find out. Some express total shock, and ask how I am able to manage. Others express their joy at seeing a dad ‘step up to the plate’ and take care of the kids (‘for once’ being the implication), while others see it as a chance for some father/child bonding moments and memories. Other just plain see me as brave.

I actually enjoy most of the time with the kids. Not that I like my wife being away, just that when mommy is away daddy and the kids can ‘get away with’ a few things. I will admit to being more tired than normal, mostly from stress I am sure, but nothing that is unmanageable.

This round of Daddy Day Care saw us do the following:
Go out to dinner (McDonalds) and a movie (Cars) together
Take Sunday afternoon naps together – twice!
Have ‘special breakfast’ together (Pop-Tarts) – twice!
Spend time cooking together in the kitchen for dinners
Invite friends for over dinner two different times
Go to some friends’ house for dinner
Successfully complete all school homework before the deadline
Wrestling on mommy and daddy’s bed (always a favorite)

All in all, not a bad 10 days. I have tried hard to make sure there were more good times than ‘bad’ ones. I hope that someday my kids will look back on times like this with fondness or at least have positive memories.


Do you have a memory from your childhood about time spent with one of your parents?

Disappointment

Today, for the first time that I remember, I experienced something new and in all honesty, something horrible.

Disappointment!!

Now I am no stranger to disappointment, as nearly every honest adult would admit about themselves. The disappointment I experienced today was of a completely new and unique type though. Today, I saw my son’s disappointment, and it was mostly aimed at me. Let me explain.

He came home from school with a small goodie bag and an invitation to a friend from school’s birthday party. My first mistake was not opening it up right then to see when the party was.

Around 5:30 pm or so, he came to me wearing his 'fancy clothes' and informed me (with a fair bit or urgency in his voice) that we needed to get going. I asked him where. “To the birthday party!!”

It was at this point that I am sure a look of surprise and mild terror crossed my face.

I quickly ran to his school bag and opened the above mentioned party invitation. 5-7 pm, today. Stink!!! And the place was a 45 minute drive away at the least at this time of night, let alone a very fast stop for a present of some kind, etc. By the time we would have gotten there it would have all been long over with.

I tried my best to explain to my son that we just simply would not be able to go. His response was categorically different than normal. He did not try to argue, and he did not throw a fit. He just said very enthusiastically “Then we just have to drive (making steering motions with his hands) REALLY fast then.” He tried several varieties of this line of motivating me to get going.

I told him I was sorry, but it just would not work. I asked him if he was ok and he sadly said yes. I then asked him if he was disappointed. “Yes.” And then a sniffle and pouty eyes. Not the manipulative pouty eyes. The real deal.

I picked him up and held him and he laid his head on my shoulder and lightly whimpered for a minute. My heart was torn in two by this. While I had every excuse in the book to justify my oversight on the party timing/date, I knew none of them would mean snot to him. And rightly so. Dad had blown it. Plain and simple.

Thankfully young kids get over such things quickly. Later in the evening we were rebuilding Lego helicopters and watching a show on tv together as if nothing had happened.

Somehow I think my heart is going to take a lot longer to heal though. I won’t soon forget that look on his face when he realized his daddy had blown it and cost him the chance to go to a party. I hope I never feel/see that again.

Math can be fun

Had some fun in an email exchange with a friend last week using math-like equations to make a point.

His math equation went like this –
(hose left on)+(basement window well)+(overnight)= 4 inches of water in basement

My reply to him went like this –
(kids sleeping for 2 hours)+(wife out of the house doing whatever it is she is doing)+(Sunday afternoon) = nap time for daddy

What kind of fun math like this can you come up with to describe how your day is going?

Memory recall

Had a memory recall this week from something that happened a long time ago that brought me a chuckle. At the time it was not so funny, but in hindsight it has some comedic value.

I used to help organize and run some youth camps at our church. We once did a ‘waterski camp’ for the Jr. Highers at a camp that, for their own protection, shall remain nameless in this retelling. They told us all about their ‘private lake’ nearby that we could ski on, etc. Even told us it would easily accommodate 3-4 power boats. We got there with 4 boats only to find out that the ‘lake’ was only 4 feet deep at its lowest point, and was only about 200 feet wide at its widest point. Not a good skiing lake to say the least.

We discovered this the hard way after putting in one of the boats to do a test run. I prepared to jump in with a ski in order to see how hard we would have to turn to keep the boat a safe distance from the shore. I jumped in and promptly hit bottom, with the water not even to my chest. And I was in the middle of the lake. Not good!!! We proceeded to beat the tar out of one of the props as it dragged the lake bottom while trying to go anywhere. After also discovering numerous submerged tree stumps (again, the hard way – OUCH!!) and literally walking most of the lake looking for possible channels to drive the boats in, we conceded defeat. Needless to say there was no skiing that week, but there were some really creative games and activities (read as lame things that we hyped up to cover our lack of boating).

Funny to me how some memories can be funny after a period of time, while others still remain painful or awkward. What is a memory of your’s that is now funny that was not at the time?

Power, Power, Everywhere

Last night was a tough night. The power went off again about 8:30 pm or so. Usually our outages are not too long, but last night’s went up to around midnight or so. By some stroke of luck or providence, my daughter stayed asleep for almost all of it. Normally her and my son both wake up soon after the power goes off since the AC and fan in their room stops working.

As time went on I began to get more frustrated. I have my very own Murphy’s Law of sorts. If there were only one mosquito in the whole of the country it would find my feet. When the power goes off there are a lot more than just one mosquito. And most of them were finding me.

Eventually I wandered out on to the balcony to look around and see if any other places had power. To my dismay I realized that it was only our small neighborhood without power. For whatever reason, there were only maybe 100 houses just near us without power. Very frustrating.

We tried to do things to keep our minds off how hot it was getting without the fans going and how many mosquitoes were biting us, etc. My son pulled out a small notebook and began asking us how to spell certain words. He would then write those words in his notebook. That worked for a while.

The best part is when the power finally does come back on, and the fans start moving air again. It is somehow sweeter and more enjoyable than it was just hours before, when you were less aware of the joy or comfort such things were bringing you.

Maybe all we needed was just a reminder to not take such things for granted. But did it have to take almost four hours to learn that lesson?

Stuck in an elevator

Today I had an experience that I hope to not soon repeat. I got stuck in an elevator when the power went off. For whatever reason, an ‘Aerosmith’ song involving an elevator came to mind.

As soon as the power went off my mind began processing at warp speed. I thought back to the time we had overloaded the elevator with too many people and it got about one and a half floors up and then could go no more so it plummeted back to the bottom, slamming into the heavy-duty springs at the bottom and giving us all a good scare. I hoped that wouldn't happen this time.

I thought back to the time my friend Ben got stuck in the elevator under similar circumstances and how he had to crawl out of it to a higher floor eventually. He is much more agile and nimble than me.

I thought back to having helped countless people get out of the elevator when they had the misfortune of getting stuck inside during a power outage. The elevator uses a two-door system, and the external door is very hard to open from inside when it is not at a proper stopping location on a particular floor, so it almost always has to be opened from outside.

And now it was my turn . . . .

I began to assess the situation. I had with me my car keys, but little else of usefulness. I did not have my cell phone with me since I had just gone down to the car for 2 minutes to retrieve some things. That rules out calling the 50 feet up to my house to ask for help. I also saw that where I had stopped was almost exactly in between two floors, thereby making it almost impossible for me, being a full-figured man, to climb or crawl out to one of the floors.

I did, however, realize that I had one thing going for me. If it got to be really bad I could sustain myself for at least a couple of days on the two cases of Diet Coke I was bringing up from the car. 48 cans of Diet Coke would surely get me through a day or two. :)

I stood looking out the window of the elevator and wondering how long I might need to be there. Yelling was of no use, at least not in the beginning stages. After an hour or so, maybe, but not yet. Surely the power will come back on soon, right? I began mentally rewriting the lyrics to the aforementioned song about an elevator to pass the time.

Within about 10 minutes (a very short outage by normal standards here) the power came back on and I continued my ascent to the apartment. Not too much worse for the wear, but ever so thankful to be out of the elevator.

As I reflected on the experience, I realized there are several possible lessons to be learned here:
1. Always carry your cell phone with you, even if you are only going somewhere for two minutes.
2. Don’t freak out at the instant something like this happens. Wait at least 10 minutes before freaking out.
3. Carry lots of Diet Coke with you everywhere you go. You never know when you might get ‘stuck in an elevator’ or some other similar tragedy.
4. Listen to a wide variety of music so you have songs that pop into your head that you can rewrite the lyrics to in order to pass the time while stuck.
5. Always wear clean underwear.

The simple pleasures

Today I needed to run an errand to a place where parking is notoriously horrible. I decided to take a friend’s scooter instead. Just before leaving the house my wife asked if one of the kids could go with me for a ‘big adventure’. They were off school today. So I told my daughter, who almost never gets to go places like that with me, to get her shoes on.

That launched a display of energy and excitement that will be hard to repeat. She was jumping up and down, running around announcing to anyone who would listen that she was going with daddy. Likely the whole building knew.

We got down to the parking garage downstairs and she was on the scooter before me. I had to climb on around her. With the scooters here a child like her can stand between my feet on a flat footboard kind of place. So she stood straight as an arrow and looked all around as we drove.

People take notice of a blond-haired blue-eyed little girl with curly hair (made more curly by the humidity from all the recent rains we have had). She was waving to people in cars, on buses, on other scooters and even people standing on the side of the road.

She got lots of attention in the stores we had to go to, and provided a welcome distraction for many who would rather not have been working today since it was a kind of holiday, but not the kind you get off work for.

As we drove home she again stood straight up and looked around, taking in all the sights along the way, with the exception of the few times the wind would pick up and she would cover her eyes to keep the blowing dust out of them. This whole exciting trip (which lasted maybe an hour total) must have been very taxing on her energy-wise since tonight for dinner she at 5 full-sized pancakes.

The simple pleasure of a short trip with daddy. Makes me wonder how many ‘simple pleasures’ I have missed out on recently without even knowing it.

Honesty can be so shocking

Last night I went with my son to go pick up some essentials. Specifically, ice cream. That is an essential in our house. But I digress.

We hopped on the scooter for the 4 block trip to our beloved Gulf Bakery (yes we buy ice cream at our local bakery). We arrived, marched inside and quickly picked out the requisite containers of ice cream and headed for the counter to pay. The total was Rs. 435, so I handed the clerk a Rs. 500 note. He quickly handed me back a Rs. 5 note, a Rs. 10 note, a Rs. 50 note and a Rs. 100 note. For those of you not too quick with the math, he gave me Rs. 165 back when he should have given me only Rs. 65.

I immediately recognized the error and handed him the Rs. 100 note back. He looked at me with a puzzled look as if to ask “What is that for? Did you want something else?” He then looked at the receipt he had given me, and saw his mistake. He gratefully took the Rs. 100 back and thanked me for being honest. This was not so much with words, but a slight nod of the head and a knowing smile.

The others crowded around the counter (there are always others crowded around because 1) I am a giant white guy; 2) I had my adorable son who has blond hair and blue eyes which are a rare site in India; and 3) There are just always crowds of people around.) began to murmur and talk amongst themselves, not so much in a SNL ‘talk amongst yourselves’ kind of way, but in a “What is wrong with that guy?” kind of way.

By the time we left there was a fair ruckus going on, and all over Rs. 100 – roughly $2.00. I was amazed at how simple honesty can be so shocking.

Random sayings

Some people say they think of me as the guy with all the ‘funny sayings’. I have often been told I should write them down. Problem is when trying to come up with them, they don’t come. They have to be done on the fly. However, here is a beginning to the list. As I think of more, I just might add them.

‘Never eat anything larger than your head.’ (it’s actually a good rule)
‘Keep backing up until you smell “poo” or hear breaking glass.’ (nice imagery)
‘That is dumber than a mud fence!’ (just how dumb is a mud fence)
‘Atta boy, girl!’ (said to a boy)
‘We were packed in tighter than a turtle’s wallet.’ (now that is tight)
‘It’s better than a sharp stick in the eye.’ (lots of things are)
‘Two words . . . .that ain’t right.’ (pay attention – its actually three words)
‘God gave you a head for a reason. He wanted you to use it.’ (good advice)
‘That is slicker than cat snot.’ (Just how slick is cat snot anyways?)
‘I am finer than frogs’ hair.’ (in response to being asked how you are – but do frogs really have hair?)

So what are your favorite sayings or phrases?

Poor marketing skills

I was out for a walk (for exercise) this morning with a friend and while on our way back home we were ‘approached’ by a car. I say approached because we first noticed it when it pulled along side me and was driving at the same speed as we were walking, about a foot to the side of me. While it is not uncommon to be passed at such close range, to have someone drive right next to you that close is not common, and is a bit unnerving.

The driver finally rolled down his window a little and asked us for a minute. It was then he realized he was in the middle of the road and needed to move to the side. After a series of attempts, he finally pulled just around the corner, basically cutting off our path of walking. We approached the driver’s side window, sweating from our walk. We noticed the man sitting inside his car fumbling to open his leather attaché case.

Did he have a gun in there? Was he intending to harm us in some way? No, in fact he was a salesman wanting make his ‘pitch’ to us. His product . . . . . weight loss formula. He then fumbled some more (like 5 minutes worth) trying to find a dvd about his products, only to come up empty handed. He assured me he would contact me when he found it.

Now I don’t know if you caught the first line of this post. I was out exercising. To be approached by a total stranger telling me he thought I needed to lose some weight (by using his products) was not only slightly offensive, but a little funny as well. I know I am fat!! That is why I am walking.

Apparently the thought process is a little different. I was trying to do something about my need to lose weight, while he assumed I was either not aware of that need, or thought perhaps I was not doing anything (or enough) about it. Had I just been sitting near the side of the road occupying space and consuming oxygen, I could understand him maybe approaching me with his wares. “Hey, friend, you are looking pretty huge. Maybe you should try my weight loss powder.” But I was actively demonstrating my knowledge of my need as well as my willingness to do something about it.

Poor marketing skills at best in my mind.

So that then begs the question in my own life, how often do my attempts to ‘peddle my wares’ get met with a similar reaction? Am I approaching ‘fat guys’ out exercising and causing them slight embarrassment by pointing out the obvious ‘need’? Are my methods any more effective or well received?

It all comes down to knowing your audience. Do I know mine? Do you know your’s?